


Long Distance (aka It's the Only Way I Know How to Be Close To You)

by lzclotho



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Long-Distance Friendship, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Possibly Unrequited Love, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 19:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2036664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lzclotho/pseuds/lzclotho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma and Regina text one another after Emma leaves Storybrooke. Consider this post-Neverland season 3, but Pan didn't come back in Henry's body, so no second curse. Emma left because, well, she didn't feel quite necessary any more. There is NO SEXTING in this fic. That's not what this story is about. It's about loving someone enough to give them space to find their own way back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Distance (aka It's the Only Way I Know How to Be Close To You)

**Author's Note:**

> I invited my 400th tumblr follower, beerfishie to send me a prompt. What she said was: long distance relationship. This is what happened. It's somewhat experimental storytelling for me. I tried to write primarily in text messages, or at least create scenes around text-based communications. Texts are italicized and inside quotations; spoken dialogue appears in regular text with quotes; inner thoughts are italicized with no quotes.

**One**

_"Henry mentioned you today.”_

_"I’m sorry.”_

_"Don’t be. It was… it was good. I had no idea you told him once that you knew I loved him. Back… in the beginning.”_

Emma put down her phone. How could she say she’d always understood Regina loved Henry? Even when she was trying to preserve the curse and drive The Savior away. In Emma’s head everything she could say kept sounding like a retcon of the three years of their intermingled lives. Her phone beeped again. With a sigh, she picked it up.

_I know I spent a lot of time driving you away. Before,”_  Regina had written. _“But I don’t know what I did.”_

_It wasn’t you,”_  Emma quickly texted back.

_Your parents certainly think so.”_

_Because I won’t answer Snow’s texts, they think you drove me away?”_ Emma replied.

_Why won’t you answer your mother’s texts?”_

After a moment, Emma typed,  _“If your mother texted you, would you answer?”_

_“That’s a complicated question.”_

_“That’s my complicated answer.”_

Regina didn’t text again that night.

* * *

**Two**

She didn’t text with Emma Swan again for three days. Like before, it was a remark by Henry that made her think ‘What is Emma doing now?’ and so she texted, no matter it was after eleven at night. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the question, but it had taken her time to decide to actually interpose herself in Emma’s self-imposed exile, to type it out. And then it had taken her another hour to actually choose to press ‘send.’

The reply was heart-stoppingly immediate. Regina actually gasped at the beep sound from her phone. Quickly, she snatched up the phone from the bedside table where she had barely begun to lay it. Fumbling with the face, she finally viewed the text, squinting a bit in the darkness of her bedroom.

_“I’m on stakeout,”_  the text read.

_“Don’t you get bored?”_  She purposely restarted their conversation from that night outside Storybrooke City Hall, waiting for Zelena to show.

_“Nope. Drink. Talk. Watch for my quarry. Ya know.”_

_“Is someone with you?”_  Regina typed, worried that the woman might be sharing their conversation with her cohort.

A few beats passed. Then her phone beeped. Emma had sent a one-word reply:  _“You.”_

Regina inhaled then exhaled slowly, wishing she could see Emma’s face. She wondered if it was the look of comfort she had received from Emma the night she told her ‘there you go telling the truth again’ or if it was the delicate, almost afraid look Emma had given her at the town line when she sent them away. She texted,  _“Why didn’t you go back to New York?”_

_“It wasn’t real,”_  Emma texted back.  _“Boston was my reality before.”_

_“I didn’t see much of it, too intent on adopting Henry, but it seemed… busy,”_ she finally added before hitting ‘send’.

_“Easy to get lost in, yeah.”_

Regina gripped her phone, surprised how it felt like a connection to Emma. She glanced toward Henry’s bedroom where she could hear him playing a video game.  _“Henry’s still awake,”_  she typed.

_“Is he having trouble sleeping?”_  Emma replied.

_“I don’t think so. At least he’s not really tired during the day. Though he sleeps in a lot more than before.”_  She stopped the thought there, not sure how to refer to their cursed year. It seemed Emma had been both happy about the year, and unhappy about being pulled away from it. She had lost an entire year with her son, and then another several months as he treated her like the stranger she had become.

_“He started going to bed later and later,”_  Emma replied.  _“Oh, texted Snow. Told her to lay off.”_

_“I’m surprised you are not still texting with her.”_

_“I delete them.”_

_“You shouldn’t. You spent a lifetime looking for them.”_

_“Well, things are quiet. They don’t need a savior anymore.”_

Regina practically heard the self-loathing in the words Emma had typed. She had no idea what to say, her stomach twisting. She sent a spell toward her vanity mirror.  _“Show me Emma Swan.”_

The mirror lit up briefly then the light faded back. The view was obviously from the outside rearview mirror of the Beetle. Regina saw the blonde woman leaning an elbow on the open window of her yellow car, staring at the face of her own phone before slowly putting it down out of view, and closing her eyes.

A single tear slipped down Emma’s cheek, glistening in the light from a streetlamp.

She typed into her phone,  _“Emma, be safe.”_

The vision in the mirror jumped and the phone was quickly lifted again. _“Yeah, I.”_  Emma shook her head and her fingers moved. Regina’s screen lit up:  _“Thanks.”_

_“Good night.”_

_“Gnite.”_

* * *

**Three**

Emma texted first the next time they communicated.  _“I, uh, wanted to wish Henry a happy birthday.”_

_“You would have been welcome to visit.”_

_“Ah, yeah, well, no.”_

_“Why not? He’s your son.”_

_“I don’t want him to see me?”_

_“Again, why not?”_

Regina knew she was testy. Henry had asked after Emma all day, and Regina hadn’t felt right saying she had been communicating with the woman, so hadn’t done something like handed over her phone so he could call Emma. He was now in bed, and she knew he was upset.

_“I’m kinda banged up.”_

_“What the hell happened?”_

_“Hey! My line of work is not a cakewalk.”_

_“Change your line of work. I told you to be careful.”_

_“I was. I was. Guy had a nasty elbow though. Broke a rib and gave me a shiner.”_

Regina sighed.  _“Tell Henry. He’s in his room. I expect this phone to ring in two minutes.”_

It rang less than thirty seconds later. Emma said, “Regina. Don’t.”

“It’s our son’s birthday, Emma,” Regina replied.

There was harsh breathing on the line. “Yeah.”

Regina stepped into the hallway. “Henry?”

“Yeah?” She easily heard the hurt still.

“I have Emma on the phone.”

She heard the creak of the bed before a slam against the back of his bedroom door. Then his door flung wide. “Where?”

She held out the device. “Ma!” he yelled before he even had the phone in his hand. Regina stepped back.

“Thanks, Ma. When are you coming home?” His expression went from excitement to concern as Emma spoke from the other end.

Regina tried to remain still, but she could feel the pain building in her son like she was suffering it herself.

“Yeah, I understand. So… maybe when you’re better?”

Henry frowned.

“No. Yes. Here’s Mom.” Regina abruptly felt Henry slap the phone into her hand before disappearing into his room once more.

“Miss Swan?” she asked in confusion, walking back into her bedroom and closing the door.

“I wished him happy birthday.”

“And after that?”

“Told him about the shiner and rib, just like you told me.”

“As the excuse why you won’t come home.”

“It’s not an excuse.”

“It’s not the truth. And your son knows it. There are three things a person should never do, never lie to your doctor, never lie to yourself, and never lie to your son.”

“Pot meet kettle.”

“Yes, but you also know I’m right.”

“Yeah.” Emma fell silent again. Regina listened to her breathing on the line and was surprised to feel butterflies in her stomach. She soothed her hand over them. Then Emma said, “If I could visit only you and Henry, I’d do it in a heartbeat.” And the butterflies became gulls beating their wings against her ribs.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Have a shot of whiskey on hand if I do visit?”

“I’ll be sure to save my best cider.”

“Spoilsport.” Emma laughed a little; hearing it made Regina smile. But then Emma’s laughter was bitten off by a hiss of pain. “Damn.”

“Get well soon, Emma.”

“Good night, Regina.”

* * *

**Four**

_“Our son has a girlfriend.”_

Emma stared at the message, frozen in place, one hand pinched tight around the ends of her towel. She’d gotten the text from Regina just as she was heading in for a soak after a job well done. She had earned a helluva good payday bringing in a bail-jumper who had been at large for 15 months. No one else had been able to get even close to figuring out how he was avoiding capture.

She rolled her shoulder, releasing a hiss as she acknowledged the tendon wasn’t just pulled. She also had a bone bruise right on the joint. He hadn’t gone quietly, instead she’d had to battle through two muscles-for-brains lunkheads who had been running interference.

_A girlfriend, huh?_   The milestone made Emma think back on her first relationships. She was so closed off growing up as protection, her peers had seldom approached. And there had been a few she considered unrequited. Then, of course, there had been Neal.

But Henry was only fourteen. _Is this really a girlfriend, or just a girl?_

Emma typed,  _“How do you know?”_

_“I walked into the kitchen to offer them a study snack, found them kissing.”_

_“Way to go kid,”_  Emma texted back.

_“I fail to see the humor.”_

_“I wasn’t much older when I had my first kiss.”_

_“We are not discussing your life. This is Henry. He’s just a child.”_

_“He’s growing up. He won’t be a kid much longer.”_

There was no immediate text reply. Emma found herself biting her lip; had she been too flippant? Would Regina think she had presumed a parental tone when she had no right to it?

She had positioned her fingers over her keypad to type some sort of retraction when the screen flashed up another message, followed by the distinctive beep she had assigned to Regina’s texts:

_“I don’t want to be like Mother.”_

_Oh, shit._  Emma felt her throat close up. Quickly she reassured,  _“U won’t.”_

_“You don’t know that.”_

_“I do. Remember I know you.”_  She followed up with a change of subject. _“So who’s the girl?”_

_“Grace. Jefferson’s daughter.”_

_Jefferson. The Mad Hatter_ , Emma quickly realized. She also recalled there was no good blood between Jefferson and Regina.  _“Had any run ins?”_

_“No, thankfully.”_

_“Does Henry know who he is?”_

_“Yes, while you were in The Enchanted Forest. The first time. Henry apparently organized their reunion.”_ A second message appeared quickly. _“She’s in his same class at school.”_

_“Studying together, huh?”_

_“Since his birthday. She was one of only two people to give him a card.”_

_“Who was the other one?”_

_“Other what?”_

_“Other kid who gave Henry a birthday card?”_

_“It wasn’t a child. It was Abigail.”_

_“Who?”_

_“You knew her as Kathryn. She’s King Midas daughter. She reunited with Frederick last year. He was a knight in her father’s court. He works as a gym teacher at the school.”_

_“Another good deed by the kid?”_

_“Apparently.”_

_“Henry’s got this happy endings stuff handled.”_

Henry had fetched her; Henry had made her believe; Henry had gotten his mother to change — both of them really. And he’d reunited people after the curse.  _“He’s a good kid.” Better than me,_ she added to herself.

_“David has been teaching him swordfighting.”_

_“You allow that?”_  She wouldn’t have expected Regina to be cavalier about the idea of Henry using a sharp knife, much less a medieval sword.

The reply took a few moments. Regina was obviously hesitating over what to say.  _“If we were in the Enchanted Forest he’d already be a squire, either to one of the White knights, or sent to another kingdom.”_

_“Good thing we’re staying here.”_

Emma stared at her text, and threw her phone across the room before flopping back on the bed. She couldn’t believe she had just sent those words. _Fuck._

She ignored the reply beep and squeezed her eyes shut.

In the morning, she found her phone, battery run out, screen mercifully blank. She plugged it in. When she grabbed it, 53 percent charged, to run off to work an hour later, Regina’s last message stared up at her:  _“But you’re not here.”_

_Damn it._

She shoved the phone in her pocket and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes to ease the pressure. Running down the steps outside her apartment, Emma emerged onto the building stoop and took several deep breaths of Boston’s cool, sea-laden air.  _Fuck_ , she did not wish it was Storybrooke. She caught sight of her yellow bug and immediately recalled sitting with Regina in the middle of the night. How much had she wanted to reach over and squeeze her hand? Ease the pain she’d seen in brown eyes.

Emma abruptly decided she would not drive. She’d do records research today, save physically chasing down any leads for another time, and headed for the T station. She shoved away the image of pained brown eyes from her mind.

* * *

**Five**

_“U like blueberries?”_

Regina blinked at the message on her phone. It was two in the afternoon, and she was walking to pick up Henry from school. The weather the last few days had been quite pleasant, making Regina think of girlhood days on horseback under the sunshine. She stopped on the sidewalk and typed back, _“I prefer apples as you well know.”_

_“Yeah, yeah,”_  Emma’s reply almost made Regina hear her voice in her head, certainly her lips would be curved in a bemused smirk.  _“Well, it’s a beautiful day, and I’m sitting here at the waterfront with a bag of blueberries I snapped up from a vendor at the Faneuil Hall marketplace.”_

What followed was a surprising photo of an empty bench, and from the perspective, it was right next to where Emma was sitting. The caption read, _“Two benches, no waiting.”_

Another text followed.  _“Blueberry?”_  Emma followed it with a picture of her hand cupping five of the succulent blue fruits.

_“They’re sweet and tart,”_  Emma typed.  _“Kinda like you on a good day.”_

_“I am not sweet,”_  Regina replied.

_“OK. Prickly. People still hassling you?”_

Regina recalled another pair of benches, the strain of that time that the Charmings had enlisted Emma to keep secret the magic bean field, both of them huddled in opposition against the cold. She had thought their relationship shifting then, which was why she was so hurt to find out that the “good” guys were planning to leave her behind in Storybrooke, or imprison her in Rumple’s cave when they took Henry and everyone else, back to the Enchanted Forest.

Her throat hurt with a lump of remembered pain, looking in green eyes she knew were lying to her.  _“I am on my way to pick up Henry from school.”_

_“That didn’t answer the question.”_

_“People leave me alone.”_ The statement made her realize she hadn’t talked to anyone but Henry in about six days. She asked Emma an equally personal question, hoping for a sarcastic edge to carry her annoyance.  _“Have you eaten anything other than takeout in the last week?”_

_“As a matter of fact, I make most of my own meals now. Thanks.”_

_“Why are you thanking me?”_

_“Don’t even deny you passed along some of that loving to cook thing you have going on when you gave Henry and me your happy ending.”_

Regina felt her throat grow warm with embarrassment.  _“You had to be able to take care of Henry properly.”_

_“NEway appreciated. I didn’t always eat well growing up, and I really like this feeling.”_

_“I never did understand how you could stuff your face with the things you did and maintain the figure you have.”_

Regina blinked after hitting send, reading what she had typed. The heat in her throat and face were spreading.

_“Excuse me,”_  she typed quickly.  _“I have to pick up Henry.”_

She pocketed her phone and concentrated on the rapid staccato her heels made on the sidewalk as she hurried on to the school.

* * *

**Six**

_“Happy birthday.”_

_“Mom this is the fifth text. Stop it.”_

Regina stared at the bubbles on her texting screen. She was still trying to figure out how to respond when another text popped up from Emma.

_“Regina? What hell u got 2 b happy bout?”_

_“Are you drunk?”_

_“And sir my quest fist.”_

Puzzling through the mistyped text, Regina had her answer, so she answered Emma’s.  _“Happy birthday is a more or less standard greeting on the day of one’s birth.”_

_“U r more or less fucking lying if u say ur happy.”_

_“You are clearly drunk. Actually I am happy for the day of your birth.”_

_“Y”_

_“Without you there would be no Storybrooke, and no Henry.”_

Regina pensively sat on the edge of her bed staring down at her phone screen, thumbs poised. Emma didn’t text back.

_“And no you,”_  Regina typed with sudden insight. Emma wanted to be wanted for herself. That’s what she had always wanted.

_“U miss me?”_

_“You make life interesting.”_

_“interring?”_

_“What?”_

_“Inter resting,”_  came back the reply.  _“Grrr do u like me.”_

Regina heard her own chuckle lacked with an edge of pained understanding. _“Yes dear.”_  Her arm muscles twitched as they did whenever she wanted to fold Henry into them, to just know he was safe. She swallowed.

_“I tinker luv u.”_

Shocked, Regina inhaled. Her hands were shaking.  _“I believe I love you as well,”_  she typed back.

_“Call me,”_  Emma replied by text.  _“Right now.”_

Regina shifted the phone in her hands to initiate a call and lifted it to her ear. Her free hand went first to her fluttering stomach, then over her heart hammering in her chest. As she heard the line clear, she raised her hand to her throat, feeling herself swallow nervously. “Emma?” she ventured into the void. Her voice was shaking.

“Regina,” Emma replied in a whisper. Regina heard the quaver, the way the words were soaked by sobbing. “Forgive me?”

Regina thought of all the things in her life that Emma Swan was responsible for. The that would not have happened, if not for Emma Swan.

“I already have,” she replied just as softly.

“Even for ending it between you and Robin?”

_God, the woman was a blunt drunk._  However, Regina found she liked that. A lot.  _“_ Yes.”

“Even though I may have been a little bit happy it meant you didn’t get him?”

“Only if I can be happy that your departure made that handless man finally leave my town as well.”

“Really? Hook’s gone?”

“Yes, dear.”

Emma sniffled and Regina easily envisioned her red-rimmed eyes and rubbing her nose. “I want a home and family, Regina.”

“You have those here, Emma. Come home.”

“I want to see you.”

“When you come to town, we’ll talk.”

“No. Now. Please? Skype?”

“I don’t…” She remembered Emma telling Henry they had ‘skyped’ to see Aurora and Phillip. “I don’t know what that is, but if you have a compact.”

“No makeup.” Regina smiled at the self-directed bemusement she heard in Emma’s reply.

“All right, a mirror then.”

“Bathroom. Medicine cabinet.” Regina heard movement, then a door closing. She moved to her vanity mirror and lifted her hand to the reflection.

“Now tell it who you want to see.”

“You?” Emma asked.

“By name.” Regina bit her lip to contain her anxiety.  _Would Emma be able to…?_

“Show me Regina,” she heard in Emma’s suddenly and surprisingly clear voice.

The vanity mirror shimmered then swirls appeared like a pebble had been dropped in a pool. Hand on the surface, Emma looked out through the eddies, her expression brightening once she recognized Regina’s face.

Regina pressed her hand on the glass to Emma’s reflected fingertips. She lifted her eyes to green, as expected rimmed with tear-stained red. Emma gave a wan smile. “Hey.”

Regina, too, had trouble finding her voice. “Hey.”

“Are you doing this?” Emma asked.

“No, Emma. It’s you. It’s all you.” She smiled through her own tears. Emma’s gaze traveled down then back up, and when their gazes met again, Regina nodded. “Happy birthday, Emma.”

Emma bowed her head, leaning against the glass, and sobbed, her hand never leaving Regina’s.

Leaning forward, Regina kissed the spot where Emma’s head met the glass, and stayed there until Emma had cried herself to sleep. Only then did Regina back away. The spell broke and the image of Emma faded away. She returned to her own bed for the remainder of the night, falling into fitful sleep.

* * *

**Seven**

Regina looked down at the face of her phone. Emma had sent her a text. She looked up to see Henry helping the one-year old birthday boy Neal with pulling at the wrapping paper on a present he’d saved up to buy for his uncle.

She stepped out to the other room, thumbs working quickly.  _“Are you coming?”_

_“I’m 10 mins from town.”_

_“I’ll answer the door.”_

_“TY.”_

“Something happening, Regina?” She turned to meet Snow’s eyes as the woman stepped toward her.

“Just town business,” Regina said.

“Everyone’s here.”

“Not quite everyone.”

Snow’s eyes lit up. Regina bit her lip. “How did you do it?”

“I didn’t.”

“You did,” Snow said. “You did. What did you say?”

“I told her the home and family she wanted were here.”

“So did I. So many times.”

Regina shook her head. “That’s your problem. At least for Emma.”

“We were doing so well, I still don’t know why she took off like that.”

“ _You_  were doing well, Snow.  _You and David_ ,  _you_ had your baby. Emma _wasn’t_  happy. Not for herself, and what really hurt was she was also not happy  _for you_. her parents. Whom she desperately loved. Were oblivious to her pain. She couldn’t find happiness in being part of this family because it was her childhood all over again. Have a new child — don’t need Emma anymore.”

“But we did… we  _do._  We love Emma.”

“Then why would you name her  _brother_ after her son’s dead father?”

“Neal was a hero.”

“Neal Cassidy let your  _daughter_  Emma go to jail. She was heartbroken, alone, and pregnant. With no explanation  _why._ Where’s your righteous indignation about that?”

“We know that, but it was to brea—”

“Snow, get those rose-colored glasses off! When will you understand that Emma has never been given first consideration — for anything — in her entire life. If Neal had truly loved her, he never would have left her, no matter how much August told him it was necessary. He could have told her what he’d learned, let her make the choice for herself.”

“So she has never truly forgiven her father and me for sending her through the wardrobe alone.” Snow’s tone was dismayed.

“No,” Regina said quietly. “Neither have I.”

“You? It benefited you. Twenty-eight years, Regina!”

“I may not regret anything I’ve done, but I can acknowledge who suffered most along the way. Emma was part of this without any choices on her part at all.”

“So why is she texting you?”

Regina thought about the texting, about what she’d admitted a week ago. About how she felt about Emma Swan. She steadied her gaze at Snow and said plainly, “Because I’m going to open the door and let her in.”

As though given a cue, the doorbell rang. Regina dipped her head to Snow, as though offering a courtly ‘by your leave’ and backed away a step. Then she turned to the front door and laid her palm on the frame to steady her suddenly racing heart before reaching out to grasp the doorknob.

Behind her, she could feel Snow holding her breath. She opened the door and raised her eyes.

“Hey,” Emma said uneasily.

“Hey,” Regina said with a warm, welcoming smile.

* * *

**Eight**

Emma sat with Snow. Finally, the two were talking. Snow had first dashed around the room, pressing food and drink into Emma's hands, trying to both touch and not touch, as she brought her daughter into the apartment. Regina had been her lifeline then, just a glance away if she needed her.

Now Emma’s face showed strain but she was gamely trying to explain herself to her mother. Regina edged closer; not enough to interfere, but in Emma’s line of sight should she look up and need the support.

"Snow…Mom," Emma reached out and touched her mother’s knee. "It’s not that I wanted to leave. I want to stay. I want to belong. But I do not want to get in the way."

"You couldn’t. You don’t."

"But I do. And I did. Do you remember the night we shared the whiskey? Back when Storybrooke was cursed?"

Snow nodded, saying nothing.

"I told you things about my past. Things I’m not proud of."

"But you didn't have a choice, you didn’t know you had parents."

"But they’re still a part of me. They made me who I am. I can’t just forget that. No matter how much you want me to."

"But it doesn’t…"

"It  _does_  matter,” Emma said. “All of it does. And you have to accept that’s me. That’s who I am. That’s who  _your daughter_  is.”

Snow was silent. Emma looked away from her downturned face briefly to catch Regina’s eyes. She offered a quirked smile. Emma squeezed Snow’s knee.

Finally, Snow White’s gaze returned to Emma’s face.

"I’ll remember," she said quietly. "Do you think you could move back?"

"I can. But not here. This is your place, with David. With Neal," Emma drew a breath. That, it was clear to Regina, still hurt. "I’ll find my own place."

"With Henry?"

"Henry should stay with Regina. If we’re all going to be able to move forward, he should be with his mother."

"But you…"

Regina stepped forward. Now, she felt, it was important to speak. “He’s our son, Emma. If you feel comfortable, you can move into the mansion until you find a place.”

Emma leaned back, palms rubbing at the knees of her jeans, and she looked up at Regina. “Thank you.”

Snow looked up at Regina over her shoulder, but Regina’s smile was only for Emma. She nodded when Emma smiled tentatively back.

**###**

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the end of the Long Distance fic I started for my 400th tumblr follower, beerfishie. Kinda went off in a different direction than I know you were probably hoping, but I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> I just crossed 480 followers, so I’ll do another fic request for my 500th follower. Find me on tumblr at http://lzclotho.tumblr.com


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